Ending a relationship is hard, whether it was your decision or the other person’s decision. You may be dealing with painful emotions and want to deal with those feelings as quickly as possible. There are several ways that you can work through your painful emotions and start to move on, such as writing about your feelings, allowing yourself to grieve, and being cautious about rebound relationships. Keep in mind that getting over a breakup takes time and patience. One way, is to Get a dog. Yes! You read it right, but easier said than done. I know not everyone is in a position to bring home a dog and it is completely understandable, but here, I am sharing my personal experience of how I got over a breakup.
My problem is, I fall in love fast and hard. Every blood cell in my body loves deeply. And I expect the other person also loves me the same. That’s why, breakups are real tough for me. I am sure it is tough for everyone facing it, and some people get over it sooner than others. Whereas for others; like me, each day looks like a year till I have finally moved on.
When I had my first breakup at the age of 20, I thought my whole world had collapsed and there was nothing left to live for. I would wake up in the middle of the night and start crying each time after the thought of not having my person in my life anymore. I had even begged that guy to patch up and tried to prove myself of how good I was. So naïve and silly. Today when I sit back and recall those days, I laugh my lungs out of how stupid I was. But that time, I thought that was the right thing to do.
After I separated from my ex-husband, my world had come crashing down. My thinking was fogged and I didn’t know what was right or wrong. But I was not that miserable as compared to my first breakup. And that was only because of my dogs Casper and Junior. My responsibilities towards them and their presence in my life, never gave me the time to think about or feel the absence of the person I had loved so deeply. Even post separation, my schedule did not change. I walked my dogs three times a day, fed them on time, played with them, etc. and all these activities kept me occupied and busy. In the night, when the thoughts of separation and fear of the future would kick in, Casper and Junior would sense it and come to me and would start cuddling with me. Yes, I was sad, but I was not heartbroken because my main thoughts were then only to give a good life to my dogs single handedly.
I have read somewhere, and I completely believe in it, that whether in grief or sadness or heartbreak, one should always have a purpose to live. Like my purpose to live was my dogs, someone else’s purpose to live would be their parents or siblings or to achieve some particular goal, etc. Irrespective of what that purpose is, but always have something to live for. This will help you sail through anything in life.
Earlier this year, my heart was broken once again. We were going to get married but somehow, I realized we were not on the same page and I had to call it off. Even though I loved him a lot, infact I still love him, but I had to walk away. So let me tell you some practical ways to get over it which I apply to move on:
- Delete all of their pictures
- Delete all the texts
- Unfriend them on social media and resist the temptation of stalking them
- Take some days off from routine to gather yourself
- Cry it out as much as you want. Do not resist your feelings
- Get out of bed and take a shower
- Go for a walk
- Cook or paint or any other hobby
- Talk to someone
- Do not contact them
- Block them if possible
- Stop living in delusions or hopes that they will realize how good you were and will come back
- Do not expect anything
- Give yourself time. Yes, time does heal everything
- Don’t be dramatic and try to prove your worth to them
- Live with self-respect and dignity. Never lose it, especially for a man
- Find a purpose in life and start living for it
- Hit the gym, lose weight, build muscles and confidence
- Do not waste your money on any astrologer or tarot card readers in the hopes of reconciliation. Your life is in your hands and no one can predict the future. (been there, done that)
- Start a skin care routine
- Get a new haircut. New you, new life
- Last but not the least, get a dog J
I have tried all of the above. Earlier I would delay my recovery by living in hopes that they will come back. They do, but when they do, I do not want them anymore. After a few days of crying and being sad, I get back on my feet and start rocking my world again. I would be stupid now to cry over a guy and wait for him. I know my worth and will not lose it for anyone.
When you are confident, you know what you bring to the table. Never get scared to eat alone. NEVER beg someone to stay or love you. For me, I get unconditional love from Casper and Junior without asking. They have and always will be my purpose to live. They have always been my biggest motivation and backbone. I do not fear any breakups now. Also because, the right ones never leave. Even when things are hard, they find a way to stay with you. If a person leaves citing any excuse, they were never the right one for you. Always remember this. And also remember, there are still good men and women out there, one day, you will meet the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time. Till then, live your life without fear and sadness. There are many other things to work on than just a shady person who didn’t have the guts and courage to stay.